Longevity & Lasting Impact Through Giving: Santa Monic Philamathean Charity Club, Inc.

I attended a scholarship luncheon today for my 'sister-cousin' who won a $2,000 award. The luncheon was put on by a group who claims to be the oldest black woman's charity club in California. The group, The Philamathean Charity Club, Inc. was started in 1941 and today they gave away nearly $60,000 in scholarships to college students from the Los Angeles area. I was deeply impressed by this. One of it's members who is now 82 was the school lunch lady at my elementary school. She was at the luncheon and remembers when my Dad was in knickers! Other members include a "once-removed" cousin (80 years old) and a childhood friend's mother( who says she's been in the club for 41 years.) Nineteen active members are listed in on the roster.

I thought about how this small group of women has been making a lasting impact on the future by encouraging students to stay in school for decades! I wondered, how do they do this? They don't hold fundraisers or sell raffle tickets, or chicken dinners. Then it dawned on me, this is a group of givers who understand the impact they can make when they give and pool their resources together. I would not classify them as a group of wealthy people, but I would classify them as 'women of resources' who put their resources where their values lie. I am so grateful for the legacy that they are expanding and the example they have set for me...

I appreciate their longevity --as a club and as women. They were dressed up, looking good, speaking well and enjoying the day. I did too!

This is a lesson in black philanthropy that I won't soon forget. I have attended plenty of scholarship luncheons (and chaired one too,) where it was a struggle to give away $15,000! Today's luncheon listed no 'corporate' sponsors nor foundation grants. The scholarships were the result of this group and the generosity, forward thinking and stewardship of it's active member participants. Wow!

I know that it is not easy to do this in a club of women. I am certain that internally the group has struggles, but the results are beautiful and most certainly must outweigh the small hurdles they must overcome to give away these scholarships.

I know their are other clubs in the black community that give, I am just struck by this piece of tradition that is planted in my own backyard. I am struck that my view of the work of the Philamathean Charity Club, Inc. reassures me that all around me people are standing together and working together to accomplish meaningful things. Some people are even willing to get personal with it and give from their own pockets. I don't know what the club's mission is or if they have ever been recognized for their work. Today I want to honor what they are doing and post about it to share with others and pitch that we are really designed to make an impact on this world that is greater than the sum of our individual credentials, goals and possessions... and that with longevity we can do great things.

Just a few thoughts from a metropolitan mom on the move mostly reminding herself to press on toward the higher calling......

Is a white or latina nanny good enough for my children?

I got a job offer and I am taking it! I will become a full-time working outside of the home mom for the first time in almost 9 years! Although I just wrote the rejection message last week, I have really been scrapping with it over the last year. Now that I have my acceptance --- I plan to move to the lessons that this phase of life offers and to soar with it! I am excited about the new work and making changes at home to accommodate.

For starters we are hiring a sitter/nanny for the girls. In fact, we interviewed several today. What a doozie of a duty that is! Selecting a person to care for your children, someone you will let into your home and personal life at such a close level. There is a lot of judging that goes on in the interview process --- as a parent I am judging the character, responsibility, reliability, sanity and compatibility of a potential sitter/nanny. What I really didn't realize is that the nannies are also judging me --They judge what type of employer I will be, am I nice, crazy, fair, reasonable, are my kids crazy? They also judge my house, car, friends --and from one of the applicants today I learned that the nannies talk to each other about their employers and if you are a bad, mean or crazy employer then all the other neighborhood nannies know. (Well, I'm no whozit and I really don't care what the other neighborhood nannies think of me what I do care is that whoever I hire needs to have a genuine respect for me and my privacy and a deep affection towards my kids!)

I don't like bringing this up either but the racial issue comes up for me in all of this. I would be most comfortable with a black sitter/nanny who shares my values. But I haven't come across many, so I am resolved that I must open up to the possibility that there may be a white or latina nanny who can do excellent at this job. This takes me back to my childhood babysitters.....I had a few and some made lasting positive impressions on me and poured great life lessons into my mind and heart. If I can at least provide that for my children and keep them safe --then it will be a job well done. Maybe the race doesn't matter? Maybe what matters most is the heart of the person and what they care to offer and learn in our exchange. This is a new adventure for me and I will certainly let you know where and how it all ends...for now I am going to continue looking --when the right person comes I know I will know.....

What do I know about figuring that out? I will follow my heart and be honest...I will also ask for some divine intervention too---

Overcoming Rejection

I am job hunting now and rejection is part and parcel of the 'get-a-job' game. I am learning to harness rejection and claim it as a victory in faith.....It's a lesson to learn and to share with my girls too. I do believe it is wonderful to be a mother who is learning and seeking opportunities to pour into the lives of my children the richness from real life issues. Job hunting is a great challenge for most people these days and it certainly is for me too! But, I am willing to grow and get the rejection lesson that is on deck now.

I start from the top with these lessons --I go to the creator upstairs for guidance and focus on surrendering and responding to what God has already provided. This lesson on overcoming rejection starts with my being firmly established in who God says I am and what God has provided and His word about my past, present and future. That's difficult to remember at times when rejection smacks you down. It's easy to second guess, retreat or strike back at the rejection.....I am learning instead to take the rejection straight-up and speak back an encouraging word regarding my life that has greater authority than the rejection in front of me. As a mother this lesson has focused me on making sure that my girls know who God says they are; children of God, seated in heavenly places with Christ, heirs with Christ, more than conquerors and that we have the Holy Spirit, the Kingdom of God, the mind of Christ and that we will always triumph in Christ. Did you know? Now you know.....

Next I must continuously be consumed with my destiny and purpose in life. When I set my face to God's highest calling on my life, the rejections shrink, fall into perspective and give me peace and grace to press on knowing that God has plans to prosper me....Teaching my girls this is ongoing, as it is for me to live it. I pay attention to them, learn their strengths and try to see them and nurture the gifts that God has given. In time I know these things will be revealed to them as life unfolds...

Hey...just my weekly thoughts on being the Metropolitan Mom that I am! Continuously striving, pressing forward to finish this race with style, peace, grace in faith.

Peace

Wonderful Monday & Riff-Raff Summer Camp

It's been awhile since I have posted...becoming a blogger somehow got lost in the shuffle of everyday life. Welcome DNT!!! My wonderful cartoon avatar and designer friend! You are my first official follower. In your honor and in honor of other Metropolitan Mom's like myself and future followers -- I again pick up this blogger mantle and commit to write weekly!

My girls started a new summer camp today. My eldest (10) commented as I picked her up, "Finally, you rescue me from this torture!". My youngest (5) greeted me at the gate with, "Why didn't you come earlier?" The day started with such hope and excitement about summer camp! I left them at 9am and went to yoga. I emerged clear and energized. I booked a job interview and had already ranked this as a wonderful Monday! My girls might rank it differently, but I am still counting it wonderful!

I think my girls may be a bit spoiled. This summer I am taking an economical approach to summer activities. Usually I'd sign them up for pricey, posh, theme camps that have been housed at beach hotels, private colleges and homes in Beverly Hills. This summer we just don't have it and they are getting a taste of 'regular' camp with the riff-raff attached. I want my girls to be flexible enough to learn and contribute wherever they go. So I am going to count this week as their opportunity to build character. Yes, I also want them to be happy and enjoy their summer, but this summer they may have to work harder to have fun. Although I never went to summer camp as a child, I did have wonderful fun summers playing outside till the street lights came on. Let's hope that this riff-raff summer camp will strengthen their creativity and appreciation!

Yes I got another job interview! My time as a SAHM(stay-at-home-mom)is coming to a close. I know a job offer is coming soon and I will be so happy to move to working mom mode! I haven't held a full-time job in almost 9-years! I will also be so happy to have my own $$$$ or at least some of my own.

Well a Metropolitan Mom's work is never done, I must tend to dinner and get to studying....till next week.

Sibling Rivalry

About Sibling Rivalry

While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with their siblings, it's common for brothers and sisters to fight. (It's also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other!)

Often, sibling rivalry starts even before the second child is born, and continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.

It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch — and hear — your kids fight with one another. A household that's full of conflict is stressful for everyone. Yet often it's hard to know how to stop the fighting, and or even whether you should get involved at all. But you can take steps to promote peace in your household and help your kids get along.
Why Kids Fight

Many different things can cause siblings to fight. Most brothers and sisters experience some degree of jealousy or competition, and this can flare into squabbles and bickering. But other factors also might influence how often kids fight and how severe the fighting gets. These include:

* Evolving needs. It's natural for kids' changing needs, anxieties, and identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example, toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will, which they'll do at every turn. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler's toy, the older child may react aggressively. School-age kids often have a strong concept of fairness and equality, so might not understand why siblings of other ages are treated differently or feel like one child gets preferential treatment. Teenagers, on the other hand, are developing a sense of individuality and independence, and might resent helping with household responsibilities, taking care of younger siblings, or even having to spend time together. All of these differences can influence the way kids fight with one another.
* Individual temperaments. Your kids' individual temperaments — including mood, disposition, and adaptability — and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For example, if one child is laid back and another is easily rattled, they may often get into it. Similarly, a child who is especially clingy and drawn to parents for comfort and love might be resented by siblings who see this and want the same amount of attention.
* Special needs/sick kids. Sometimes, a child's special needs due to illness or learning/emotional issues may require more parental time. Other kids may pick up on this disparity and act out to get attention or out of fear of what's happening to the other child.
* Role models. The way that parents resolve problems and disagreements sets a strong example for kids. So if you and your spouse work through conflicts in a way that's respectful, productive, and not aggressive, you increase the chances that your children will adopt those tactics when they run into problems with one another. If your kids see you routinely shout, slam doors, and loudly argue when you have problems, they're likely to pick up those bad habits themselves.

reprinted from: www.KidsHealth.org

Can Siblings Work Out Differences Between Them on Their Own?

Today is a wonderful day. The sun in shining outside and my daughters are enjoying breakfast and arguing about playing with dolls, even now as I write. I consider it, "getting to know my sister time." They can and do work out many of their differences even now as 4 and 9 year-olds--on their own. They are learning about each other through these arguments and establishing the foundation for their adult relationship with each other. Do you break up arguments with your children? Do you encourage/make them apologize when they have caused harm to their sibling?

I have a lot on my plate. I started law school in January. I am mother of 2 girls. I am married to a wonderful man for 19-years and I am looking for work. I am also training for the LA Marathon and organizing a family reunion and publishing books....Gee, that makes my head swim! I have always been a juggler. Juggling is a big part of who I am--I just want to be sure I am juggling the right balls. Ya know?

I am grateful for it all though. I am glad to have the opportunity and the guts to challenge myself with these things at my age....

Today during pick up with the girls --I am putting on my own positive attitude and love and encouragement. I think we will do a group mediation and yoga activity when we 1st get home. Just to connect with each other and share and love ---I have noticed that my girls (like me), sometimes wear a different face in public. When they get home they exhale and let out all of the feelings they couldn't handle for the day. In the past I have exhaled by zoning out on tv or food. Today I am learning to connect to God, pray, meditate and share to process those feelings. I want to teach this to my girls too, so they will have tools to work with when they grow up.